He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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