i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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