Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
My underwear smells like fireworks.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
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