it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
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