I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Randomize
