We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
