that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
