Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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