so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
