you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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