I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
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I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
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Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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