You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Randomize
