he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize