Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
