I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize