I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
