Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
3pm strippers are depressing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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