Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
