she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize