Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
