No awkward lesbian experiences without me
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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