i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
