this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
