just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
