You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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