And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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