Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
