Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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