i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Randomize
