I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I need moral support for this bender
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
