last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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