i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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