hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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