Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
