I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
