Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Is Oprah even human
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
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