Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize