We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Randomize
