Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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