I have demons in me.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
