Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
