One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Randomize
