Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
