we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Randomize
