APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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