your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Randomize
