did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
