What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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