I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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