CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
