Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
