Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
