Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
