need another drink. this is the easiest way
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
