I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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