; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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