your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
