i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I'm really busy with my period
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