I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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