He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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