At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
